Surrender

How often do we feel frustrated when things don’t go our way when we are interacting with our horse? And how quick are we to jump to a conclusion or ask again in a hurry because the answer didn’t come quick enough? I would say that it happens to most of us. That frustration is real, when you have a goal or an outcome that needs to happen, on our timeline (not the horses). It is so easy to let that take over our next decision, often within seconds we’ve made a decision on what we will do next. What happens if we stop and take a step back? To reflect on what we asked and or how we asked it. I think that mainstream society has ingrained in us that if we give up or change direction completely that the horse will ‘get away with it’. 

But surrendering is not giving up. Our ego feels the need to be in control. How often do we micromanage our horses? I would dare say that most interactions people have with their horses will involve some sort of micromanagement (I am guilty of this too), in their physical movements, their emotional regulation or mental state. Everything needs to happen so quickly for us humans, we live in a society that gives us instant gratification or instant responses. But horses do not live this way. They do not waste their energy on trying to control anything. 

How much energy do we waste by trying to micromanage every little interaction with our horse? Sure, there are things that have to be done and goals that we have in mind. But rather than trying to control the situation, why don’t we take a page out of the horses book and be at peace with the surrender. Your horse will trust you on a far deeper level when they start to realise that you are listening to them when they don’t understand a question or are uncomfortable. It is not a matter of letting them ‘get away with it’, but a matter of listening and surrendering to the answers you get in that moment. 

This is how we can start to have compassionate and genuine partnerships with our horses. You can’t fake that. Everything else will just flow from there. 

- A lesson from Dusty